Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize