My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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