The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize