I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We are all done wearing pants today
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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