I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
