What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
