my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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