So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
