Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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