Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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