About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
