you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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