walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
