okay pat passed out under dana's car
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
