I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
