Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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