I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we have pet lesbian snakes
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
