Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
