she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
