This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
