I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well I just put wine in my tea
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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