We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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