69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
