I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
