its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
