he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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