So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize