Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize