I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
