By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Randomize
