I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
