Who wears a wallet chain?!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
