hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
