Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize