But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
