NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
