I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
