Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
