he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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