this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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