Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
