Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
