I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
