Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize