dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
