Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
