at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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