So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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