I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
my poor anus
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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