he shaved USA in his pubs
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize