im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
