Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
