Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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