god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
