Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
