I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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