frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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