Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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