I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
