I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
