she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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