Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
