Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
