He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
