The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Who died my cat blue again?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
