He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
